yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
