shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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