I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
