What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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