all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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