I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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