Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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