we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
