I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
