Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
