Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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