I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
