So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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