you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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