I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
