No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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