She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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