i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
