i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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