I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
