take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This house was built for laser tag.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
