yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
