Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
