Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed