During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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