so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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