If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
