I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize