Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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