I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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