someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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