worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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