hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize