So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
