Just mADE A PArabola og urine
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
