I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize