My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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