Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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