Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
