Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn