I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".