"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
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He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy