I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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