Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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