You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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