i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
