the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
