I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
birth control should be required to get into college
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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