exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize