but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
