Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
where does the pee come out of this thing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
