Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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