I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
