oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
