Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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