Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
