My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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